Abu Musa's Chilled Blog

Monday, March 26, 2007

New blog

Like all fat lazy people that are over the hill i've decided to reinvent myself.

www.scatteredintellect.blogspot.com 

Monday, July 03, 2006

England Squad Ratings

With the world cup now over for England, here’s my personal view of the squad.

Paul Robinson:

He showed he was erratic and flapped at way too many crosses during the tournament. He doesn’t command his area well enough and does not instil confidence in the defence. Still better than David James, but that’s not saying much is it?

Rating: 5

Gary Neville

With Carragher at right back it was clear that England desperately needed Neville to return. The only decent English right back around. However, when Ronaldo ran at him, Neville’s panic was clear to see. Neville is past his best and England need to find a replacement.

Rating: 6

Ashley Cole

After a season of injury he started very slowly, he’s still not back to his best, which would be the best left back in the world, but he gradually improved:

Rating: 7

Steven Gerrard

Now considering I believe him to be the best central midfield player in the world, he was poor in the world cup. This was mainly because Ericsson is useless as a manager but he also hid a little when it mattered. Better performances needed from him.

Rating: 6

Rio Ferdinand

Hardly put a foot wrong in this tournament, he was commanding and quick, one of the few pluses of the tournament.

Rating: 8

John Terry

For some reason he is prone to more errors for England than Chelsea, but he finally came to his own in the game against Portugal, an absolute warrior of a player.

Rating: 7

David Beckham

People cite his free kick and set pieces which led to goals as evidence of his success, aside from those his set pieces were awful, his delivery and passing was poor. He had an awful tournament.

Rating: 5

Frank Lampard

Massively over-rated player and he showed this during the tournament, repeatedly game the ball away against Portugal and other teams. His shooting was poor and he brought nothing to the team whatsoever.

Rating: 4

9: Wayne Rooney

Clearly not fully fit, and clearly not a full shilling in the head sometimes. A fully fit Rooney played by a half decent manager would have taken the world cup by storm.

Rating: 6

Joe Cole

I really thought this was his time to shine, and in bursts he demonstrated he was one of the most skilful players in the tournament. He drifted in and out of matches a bit too much however.

Rating: 7

16. Owen Hargreaves

Maligned before the tournament, he kicked everyone in the teeth that slated him. Absolute class, best player on the field against Portugal. He should definitely replace Lampard in a 4-4-2 formation.

Rating: 9

19. Aaron Lennon

Impressed when he came on, looks one for the future.

Rating: 7

21. Peter Crouch

One of England’s pluses from the tournament, he has a deft touch and has been superb at holding the ball up. Surely he’s played himself into being a regular.

Rating: 8

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Article

Parenting: an Islamic Perspective

By Abu Musa Alyas

Having Children

The feeling of wanting a child is something that is natural, necessary and a very basic part of human life.

At a certain point of reaching adulthood, the desire to become a parent intensifies, and as the psyche develops, so does the physical body in preparation for this journey.

The desire often increases until an emptiness is felt, once a child is born this void is then filled. A new generation is born, and one of the the biggest responsibilities has then been taken upon by a person.

Unfortunately, not many people actually consider at a deeper level what it means to become a parent.

The Responsibility

The only reason by which a couple should embark upon the immense responsibility of having a child is if they can give the child a stable home. Life can change over time, but when considering whether to have a child or not this should be a minimum requirement.

Perhaps as importantly, no couple should have a child simply because they would like to have a baby, if someone wants to bring a pure soul into the world then the child should be given the respect it deserves by giving it due consideration. A couple should only have a child if they want to raise it for the sake of Allah, if they want this child to spread the name of our Lord to everyone it meets and die as one of the righteous.

It has become common place to have children to “fix” a marriage. Couples experiencing marital problems often believe that raising a child together will help bring them closer together. For those who have experienced the difficulties of pregnancy, labour and the intense trials of a newborn baby, will instantly recognise what a fallacy this idea is. For two people to become closer, they need time and good communication in order to deal with the issues at hand. Nine months of pregnancy and then the following years with a newborn baby will only create further pressure and distance between the couple. Parents need to be a strong unit from the beginning.

Parents who have children for to fix their relationship usually go their separate ways at some stage, leaving a child without a stable home in which it had the right to be raised. Alternatively, the parents stay together for the sake of the child; the child is then raised in a home where there is usually little or no communication between the parents, let alone love. This is not an environment which is beneficial to the child. The child was not given the consideration and the respect it deserved from the beginning, and will now have to suffer, perhaps for life because of the irresponsible and selfish actions of the parents.

By having a child solely for the sake of Allah means the parent is mentally equipped to know what it means to conceive and raise the child in a manner which takes care to do justice to the child and to the ummah as a whole; to spread the name of our Lord, and to live and die as one of the righteous.

Spending time with the child

As the Prophet (Sallahu’alayhi wa sallam) illustrated “All of you are shepherds and each of you is responsible for his flock” [Agreed upon].

The shepherd does not merely push his flock to one side waiting for them to return at the end of the day, he does not hope that they will find their own way or look to anyone else to guide them. The shepherd accepts responsibility and constantly guides his own flock.

This is exactly what every parent should be doing with their child.

The parents should be involved in every aspect of a child’s life, concentrating on the child’s internal and external development. The parent needs to constantly refine the character of the child.

It should be known that parenting is a science, every interaction, recognition, praise, and discipline will combine to form a part of that child’s character. Therefore, it is imperative that parents reflect and ensure their interactions with the child result in positive characteristics developing in their children.

Many parents send their children to school, wait for them to arrive home and then hurry them back out to the madrassas. After which, they are left to roam the streets. Any other spare time is spent between relative’s houses and more time on the streets.

This is clearly not the way to raise a righteous child and this is not the time, love and respect that the child requires to develop into a healthy balanced person. In order to develop a deep love and friendship with the child, a parent must devote their time and attention towards the child.

The fundamental aim of every parent is built upon the same foundations; every parent must be the number one person in that child’s life. The person that the child looks up to and wants to be like. Every parent must ensure they are the child’s best friend.

Teaching children their deen

A certain mentality seems to have evolved regarding Madrassas; parents often feel as though they are fulfilling their Islamic obligations by sending a child to a Masjid. They feel that a child will learn and develop their religion by attending a madrassa for a couple of hours each day. This is the extent of the Islamic education that the children receive; nothing else is done at home.

What parents must realise is, the children will usually repeat the same verses again for that two hour period and then proceed to another set of verses the next day. The child is not being moulded around the deen, they are not developing the Islamic personality from reciting repeatedly.

In order to develop the Islamic personality, children need to know and understand what Allah has said to them, they need to know and love the Prophet (sallallahu’alayhi wa sallam) and see the sacrifices that he made to bring this deen to the world.

It should be clear to any parent that this is not taught in a madrassa and it is not the job of the madrassas to teach and mould the children into pious Muslims- this is the job of each and every parent. The parents should be teaching the children daily, both in a literal sense and in terms of their character. Teaching does not infer the basic verbal explanations that most parents give to their children, this should be a full, comprehensive and progressive study taught by the parents.

Having to teach the children should be a drive in of itself; in order to teach, the parent themselves must have the required knowledge and indeed this is a pre-requisite of this religion. The parents need to be actively involved in studying the deen in order to be able to teach their children.

Relatives

Children often seem to spend more time with relatives than the parents themselves. Due to the minimal involvement of the parents in their lives, a weak bond is often formed with the children.

The children grow up lost, without that natural bond to the parents that they so desperately require. And it is only the parents that can give them this bond. This is the job that they took upon themselves the day they conceived that child and one that they must take responsibility for.

Other relatives assume the roles of parents and relationships become diluted, the difference between the relatives and the parents becomes minimal. Relatives assume roles that are not naturally theirs, they lose their place in the family structure and conflicts occur.

Children are often mirrors of their own parents and environments. They absorb their surroundings and become a product of their experiences. The parents have the right and indeed must exercise the right of controlling and filtering continuously this environment and ensure they keep their children close.

The children can then enjoy family and friends from a healthy distance; with everyone in their own place, the parent’s role is preserved in its correct place.

Discipline

If children are exhibiting bad characteristics such as arrogance, disobedience, showing off and aggression then it is imperative these traits are recognised and removed from a child before it’s too late. Once a child is formed, these characteristics will become a core part of their character, and then it may be too late.

Children have been created pure and upon the fitrah, therefore they should not be exhibiting negative behavioural traits. Parents often speak of how a child has had certain negative characteristics since they were a child; however this is down to the parenting as opposed to any innate disposition towards certain behaviour that the child was born with.

These negative characteristics usually arise as a result of spoiling the children, or allowing others to do the same. Love needs to be shown to children in a beneficial manner, one that encourages love and appreciation. Spoiling children encourages arrogance and other negative traits such as anger and showing off.

When children require discipline it must be done consistently and fairly. It is unjust upon a child to allow them to do something one day and then to discipline them for the same thing another day. Parents must set clear and consistent boundaries.

Disciplining a child does not necessitate making life dull and without fun for the child. Parents and children can enjoy their interactions in ways which strengthen bonds, create love and most importantly harmony and a healthy understanding of boundaries and goals.

Adults

Many adults seem to have character issues, usually arrogance, insecurity and showing off. These traits seem to be prevalent in most people. If an analysis into the root cause of these issues was conducted, it would be found that in almost every instance these issues began in childhood and have become engrained into some aspect of the person’s character.

Those small children who need the time and attention will at some point become adults. The job of every parent is to ensure that these children carry the light of this deen wherever they go as responsible muslims of this world.

As the Prophet (sallahu’alayhi wa sallam) said “whoever starts a good thing and is followed by others, will have his own reward and a reward equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their reward in any way. Whoever starts a bad thing and is followed by others, will bear the burden of his own sin and a burden equal to that of those who follow him, without it detracting from their burden in any way” (Reported by at Tirmidhi who said it was a saheeh hasan hadeeth)

If children are roaming the streets and grow into people who commit crime or other bad deeds, then a parent should know that if they have not fulfilled their obligations in parenting then they may carry the burden of the bad actions of their children.

Baring the burden of personal actions will be more than enough on a day when all people will be confronted by their deeds, having to bare the burden of others deeds should be something every parent desperately wants to avoid. The gathering of bad deeds would be combined with the abject misery of failure as a parent, knowing that the child has turned out to be a spreader of corruption, rather than goodness.

Hence parents need to genuinely reflect on what they are offering their children; it is not merely the childhood that is in the hands of the parent, possibly the child’s akhira which in turn could affect their own.

Parents in Old Age

The old adage, “you reap what you sow” becomes ever more appropriate once the parents reach old age. Parents now after a long life rightfully expect the children to now take care of them and treat them with respect; this right is given to the parents by Allah:

“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.” (Al-Isra, 23)

And again Allah states:

“And We have enjoined on man (to be dutiful and good) to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness and hardship upon weakness and hardship, and his weaning is in two years give thanks to Me and to your parents, unto Me is the final destination.” (Luqman, 14)

The thanks are given to Allah and then to the parents, this izzah given to the parents is something that only comes from the deen of Allah. Every parent should therefore know and understand that if their child is grateful to their Lord, the one who has Created them and Sustained them, then he will be grateful to them.

The parents will indeed reap what they sow, if they worked hard to bring this child close to their Lord, then they shall see the fruits of that work when they require it most.

Conclusion

Success and ultimate salvation only lies in following Allah’s commands, in fearing Him alone and raising our children to the best of our ability to be leaders of this Ummah, to be of those who are indeed mindful and thankful towards the Most High.

All parents must reflect on the way, in which they are raising their children, the state of Muslim children is indeed indicative upon the parenting they are receiving. Much time and effort is required in this area, and we beseech The Most High for ease.

May Allah forgive us all, and enable us to be the kind of parents this deen demands of us.

"Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents, and (all) the believers on the Day when the reckoning will be established." (Ibrahim, 41)

And Allah knows best.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Parenting

As salamu’alaykum wa rahmatullah

I wake up for work every morning with subhan’Allah a stinging sensation in my eyes. I look in the mirror and some bright red eyes stare back at me.

I think this may be because of the “milk seeking midget” as I like to call him. Alhumdulillah, I don’t begrudge the little man for any sleep I may have missed out on. I guess it’s a part of parenthood, and I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I stare at him each day, thinking of the responsibility given to me to raise this child. To be the shepherd that has to guide him. We know that he has been created pure and upon the fitrah, the trick is to keep him that way.

I start work very early, 7.30 to be exact. It’s a strange time to begin working I know, however despite the pain I feel every morning, I know how important working so early is to my family. My main reason is it allows me to be home early, to spend time with my family and insha’Allah give the 6 year old the tarbiyyah that children so desperately require and so rightfully deserve.

People really puzzle me these days. Being a parent I encounter so many other parents, I call upon what I see daily and my own past experiences and form them into some form of parental encyclopaedia. I’m yet to meet a parent that comes up to scratch and subhan’Allah that is a big statement upon those whom Allah has bestowed the responsibility of raising children.

However, I do believe this is the case, and Allah ‘azz wa jaal knows best. All the parents I see everywhere are repeating the same mistakes. Being a parent does not mean a person merely feeds and clothes a child, the essence of tarbiyyah is to cultivate that child constantly. To be that child’s hero, to be the one that the child imitates and takes positive qualities from, eventually leading them to follow the greatest of examples, Muhammad sallalahu’alayhi wa sallam.

Perhaps the problem stems from the reason people have children, the fact that someone wants to have children does not mean that they should, in fact it probably means the opposite. If someone wants to raise a child for the sake of Allah and bring a pious soul into this world that will glorify the name of Allah then that surely is the only reason to have children. No doubt people’s maternal and paternal instincts make them consider having children in any situation, but parenting is a huge responsibility and if the child outlives you then perhaps their deeds will continue to affect you long after you have gone. Not to mention the fact if you don’t parent your children properly then ultimately they will suffer, and who would want to see their own children suffer?

How many adults have we all met who do not possess arrogance and do not show off, subhan’Allah I can count these people upon one hand. And surely this all begins from a young age? Upon taking the little one to school I hear nothing but showing off, vain talking and arrogance from little children themselves, this only grows as they do, until they are the messed up adults we all see around us. Children whom at this age should be innocent, I cannot help but feel that their parents have let them down.

Parents who hardly seem to be around to raise the children, palm them off to relatives at the first opportunity. Unless those who are helping with the children are upon the same path they cannot offer even a fraction of what you can. Children become confused, relationships become diluted, consistency is lost and parents merge into many.

The children return different, parents complain about poor behaviour, relationships break down and they have no one to blame but themselves.

There is no one who can raise a child like the parent themselves, only they understand the importance of raising this child correctly, only they have to deal with the issues day in day out. People really seem to assume too much, don’t look to others to parent your children- do it yourself.

Add to this, when the children return from school they are palmed off to the madressas and return late evening. Since when was the sunnah taught by other than the parents? How can a parent handle their child being away for so long? Surely, if you want to be the one giving the tarbiyyah to your child then you will do this yourself. A person would then be the child’s mentor, friend, teacher and parent, everything that the child requires to allow them to develop properly.

People who have grown up themselves speak of how well their parents have raised them because of the “freedom” they have received, unless the focal point of them raising you was not the deen then surely they have not done their job. And from this I don’t mean a quick explanation of the five pillars, we are talking daily classes, teaching, moulding and so forth. Children are capable of so much, if they can remember every player in a football team they can remember the chains of a hadeeth.

How many of us have received that? Then surely we all need to realise that the way we have had to struggle for knowledge our children should not have to. The way we have needed knocks to humble us, our children should be raised humble from the start. And when we have looked for love from everyone, our children should feel it from us fi sabi lillah.

Until the parents resolve their issues and raise their children in the correct manner, this Ummah will not progress.

May Allah open our hearts and guide us to become the parents our Ummah needs.


And indeed, Allah knows best.

After a period of thinkng

As salamu’alaykum wa rahmatullah

After some well needed time away from posting, I almost decided not to continue with this blog.

I may still stop posting, however if I am to continue then I want to write the posts as myself. So this is insha’Allah what I will do.

I’m sure the style will be very different now, and so it needed to be.

Let’s see how it goes.

Friday, April 07, 2006

The second half of a day in the life of a mad man called Al

Unfortunately, I made an empty promise on the previous post that If I made it through the day I would complete the post. Well, empty promises are exactly that, they should not be kept, completing the post would defeat the whole object of an empty promise, they intrinsically tell you their own outcome. So why should I complete the post?

But it’s not that easy is it? I’m not going to get away without finishing this post am I? Serves me right for having such a big mouth.

Well here goes.

1.00 pm (cont..)

The guy who is showing me his process is on a roll, he’s flying through screens explaining all sorts, he’s cracking jokes and having a great time. What he doesn’t realise is that I’m barely conscious. I figured he would probably realise this after 20th silence after the 20th joke, but no. Full steam ahead, this boy’s determined to enjoy himself. I felt quite bad really, it’s almost like no one’s sat with him before and he’s so excited, if he’s not careful I think he will burst a blood vessel in a minute. Not that I don’t like a laugh or a joke, just when you’re this sleepy, the funniest thing is most certainly silence.

1.15 pm

I don’t often take lunch, primarily because I’m new to this building and I hate eating alone. I physically can’t sit alone in a canteen and eat on my own, I feel like the saddest person alive, in the saddest corner of the saddest planet that not even one person would eat with. Perhaps I’m too self-conscious, but before I end up crying in my chips I’d rather skip this whole scenario.

However, to survive I need food to keep me going, so what can you do, I can’t eat junk everyday can I? The wife would beat me to a pulp if I did that.

However, there was once a bright spark who had this same problem, he invented a solution that would help millions for centuries to come, something which fulfils every need for the internal body. Something which provides all the vitamins and minerals needed for a week in one healthy serving. Yes! It’s the Cheese and Onion Pie.

Now the pie solves all my problems, it fulfils my need for hot food, I can take it to my desk and munch away on it until my heart is content hence no need for crying in the canteen. And last but not least, it tastes unbelievable!

So off I toddle in pursuit of my pie.

The only problem with purchasing a pie each day is being served by the same person. There’s this girl who sells the pies, and slowly she has developed a slightly apathetic look towards me like “here he comes for his pie” I think sometimes she picks it up and holds out her hand for the cash before I’ve even spoken, in fact as soon as she sees my head pop out of the door, maybe even as she hears my footsteps on the stairs.

It’s horrible to be discriminated against. She’s some kind of pie-cist, I can feel it in my bones.

So today, l decide to use some new tactics.

I walk through the door as per usual and approach the counter as per usual. She looks at me and I can see what she’s thinking “here he comes for his pie again”. I decide to counter this by looking around the shelves behind her for something to throw her off track, I then see her next thought bubble appear “look at him pretend he wants something else, I’m gonna chuck this pie at him in a minute”. Like all true tacticians I switch tactics again and decide to use some words this time “Can I have a hmmmmmmmm” I figured if the hmmm lasts long enough she may think I’m genuinely after something different, then all of a sudden she says: “what do you want?”

“Pie please”

I hold out money and trudge off down the stairs with my pie, it was a brave battle but I’m afraid she’d won this one. I retreated to my desk and cried into my pie.

1.30 pm

Time for Dhur, time to be uplifted, time to forget that traumatic pie experience.

There’s a quaint little prayer room upstairs and Masha’Allah a nice group of brothers who always attend the Jam’ah. But there’s a slight problem, what is it this time I hear you say?

Well, just before you enter the prayer room there is a small lobby in which people put there shoes. There’s not much air in there and it’s a tight little space. This is severely compounded by the fact that one of the brothers has slightly smelly shoes, well actually that’s an understatement; I think three brothers barely made it alive the other day! Now I’ve tried to figure out which of the regular six pairs of shoes contains the boots of eternal stench, but short of smelling each one I don’t think there’s a way to do this.

And the last thing I want is to be on my knees smelling shoes when everyone else comes out from praying- it’s a scene I don’t even want to imagine. I’ve considered dropping some form of perfume in each shoe to help, or even setting them alight, forcing the brothers to buy new shoes. But neither of these are practical and the latter may just get me fired and arrested.

Looks like I just have to brave it, I open the corridor door and take my last gasp of fresh air, I kick my shoes off and run for the prayer room, I feel the stench overtake me as my head gets lighter and lighter and then finally I succumb and loose all feeling in my body, at which point I have reached the prayer area- time to take another breath. Ahhhhh fresh air.

These guys like to pray their salahs relatively fast, forget extra supplications and kushu, just concentrate on your hamstrings and your ligaments.

2.00 pm

Back to my desk and the kind man who’s showing me what to do is in full swing again. My head is so slow, his torrent of words is now a blur and his laugh is like a punch in the ear. However, there is one thing drawing me towards him. that shoulder looks so appealing. I could snuggle right into it, wrap my arms around his neck and go to sleep. I drool as I stare at his shoulder, oh the warmth, oh the the peace as I slowly edge my way towards it. Then as he turns around and notices I’m an inch away from him, he gives me a slight look wondering which side I bat for, and then continues with his tornado of words.. I needless to say have to settle for my own shoulder, I return slowly back to my own place and begin to slouch in my chair. A moment of weakness could have led to a lifetime of madness. Readers be warned!

3.00 pm

In between stints of sleep, I surf to keep the time ticking, ebay, islamiblog you name it, anything to get me through the last few minutes. I look over and my friend is still talking, poor guy.

3.30 pm

My eyes shoot open, my heart skips a beat and I sit up on my chair- hometime! Wohoooooo
These feelings of immense pleasure just cannot be described.

I set off into the car park, unlock the car and set off on my journey home. 25 minutes later I arrive home, I shut the front door without looking back.

Welcome to one of my average days.

Now if that was interesting, I can’t wait to tell you what happened at home ;-)

He says in an empty promisingly kind of way……………..

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

A day in the life of a mad man named Al (well half a day)

When you’re too zombified to do anything constructive at work, what do you do? The obvious answer is: Type.

Because when you type you look like your doing something, I could be writing an important piece of analysis that could save the company 20million. I could be writing something that initiatives world peace. I could be sacrificing my valuable time writing something of some benefit, to someone, somewhere.

On the other hand I could be writing a useless piece of dribble intended to get me through the day.

Welcome to the latter.

The only problem is even dribble in its poorest form requires some form of substantial content. Hence, this post has failed from the beginning and I plan on torturing each reader by taking you through one of my average Mornings.

10 Pm onwards

The milk seeking midget as I like to call him wakes up every few hours for a feed, change, burp and you name it. It’s been a long night- I desperately need some sleep before work. I turn over, shut off my ears and wala I’m fast asleep.

6.00 Am

I’ve adopted my usual sunbathing position, both arms behind my head, facing up while fast asleep. This is strange I know, I have no idea where it comes from but it must be comfortable for me, the other half of the night is apparently spent sucking my thumb. But who cares? I feel warm, comfy, secure, loved etc life could not get better.

6.30 Am

That perfect dream is interrupted, those moments of peace are gone and my sanctuary is destroyed.
That damn alarm has gone off-I feel cheesed off, aggravated and life could not get any worse!

6:39 Am

After contemplating every excuse possible for not attending work I take look at what I have used so far. Aside from being abducted by Aliens I have no more left.
Best get my butt out of bed before I’m late for work.

6.45Am

I step outside the house, I’ve forgotten my apple, my pear, my tangerine and any other food of any benefit. Like a shrunken version of Herman Munster I stumble out the front door, tripping over pebbles and nearly breaking my neck in the process. Upon sitting in the car I realise my window is frozen, the sensible thing to do is use a scraper, scrapers have been designed for this purpose, they are quick, efficient and do a good job. But am I sensible?

Out comes my work swipe card, perfect for removing those tough bits of ice. Feel the plastic strip bend as the micro-chip which records my data is smothered in ice. And if the swipe card ceases to work, then I will have to bear the burden of not swiping and coming and going as I please. Life without a swipe card is difficult to contemplate. But I may just be brave enough to continue without it should it cease to work.

6.50Am

I drive down the road and slowly realise I cannot see a thing; All I see is steam in front of me, I have no idea where the road is, let alone the houses. I pull up randomly somewhere, on comes the heater and slowly the world becomes visible.

6.55Am

Off we go again. At a blistering speed of 20mph each speed bump sends my head into a spin, I switch on the radio and catch up with the morning news.

Whilst driving along, I see I have very little petrol left, maybe just enough to get me to work. However, there are no petrol stations near work, and the local petrol station is just around the corner.

Suddenly, a thought bubble appears and my mind then wanders, putting in petrol requires getting out of the car, putting in the right amount of petrol requires a brain, paying for it requires even more walking and even more brain power.

I whiz past the petrol station- I’ll worry about that later. Most of the motorway is downhill anyway.

7.20Am

After being cut up by numerous women drivers, most of them unfit to drive a shopping trolley, I arrive at my destination.

7.30 Am

I’m inside the office and ready to swipe. I wipe the last pieces off ice off the swipe card and insert it into the machine. I look at the screen hoping for a blank and *ping* my name appears. Damn.
Maybe I should use my swipe for mopping the kitchen or something.

8.00 Am

I have now eaten some toast and I have all my favourite websites are loaded up, my outlook is in full swing and I’m ready for another day.

9.00 Am

I have a meeting with a manager. He’s due to show me how he assesses certain types of work, my task is to understand what he is doing and re-design and improve this method for other processes.

9.05 Am

He starts talking, I’m sat slightly behind him. My head begins to drop as my eyes close, I’m in no state to retain any information after a long sleepless night. He turns around to see if I’m paying attention and up pops my head and I nod attentively, he turns back to his screen and I begin to slouch again slowly closing my eyes.

10.00 Am

An hour and a few naps later I’m finally rid of him. I look around the office, looking for a corner to have a good sleep in. I realise the only way to nap is to have my head in my hand while I look like I’m reading a screen, I drift in and out of sleep for ages. Randomly clicking the mouse every now and again just to show people I am comatose.

11.00 Am

It’s time to sit with some guy who’s working a process, he show’s me everything that he’s doing and guess what? Yes, the head begins to dip and the mind wanders. I have no idea what he’s saying and I couldn’t care less, I need some sleep from somewhere.

Midday

I have been watching him for an hour now and he has no idea that I haven’t been paying an ounce of attention.

1pm

He turns around as he is struck by a sudden brainwave “why don’t you have a go?” Damn I think as we swap seats. I start clicking buttons randomly like a fuel injected monkey as slowly he begins to twig that I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. After he’s shown me once I’ve taken most of it in and then I do the process once more to show I’ve understood.

Time for another nap as we swap seats. Every moment is a struggle to keep my eyes open as I drift off again.

And that is my situation at this precise moment. An hour of typing has helped to fill in the gaps.

If I make it through the day, then there may be a follow up to this post.

That’s if I make it :- )

Time for another nap.


 
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